Cafe and restaurant food made for Instagram but not your mouth

[Icicle]

I know it's a weird thread title but let me explain what I mean.

My best friend and I wanted to open a cafe so we were doing research on the kind of food other cafes or restaurants serve. In the process, we found so many ridiculous food items that were obviously made for attention but not for the convenience of the person actually eating them.

COVID hit and we had to postpone our plans for a cafe. However, my collection of terrible cafe food items remains on my laptop and I wish to share them with you.

Cafe owner: Eh you know ah, broccoli feels too healthy. That's why not many people order. We have to make it look less healthy.
Cafe chef: I can deep fry la. Then add a lot of salt and sauce.
Cafe owner: No no no not unhealthy enough. It should actively harm the diners.
Cafe chef: Okay I got idea.




Owner: Eh bro as you know ah, we are a restaurant that overcharges customers by 800%. But how can we make them feel like every bit of their dining experience is worth the price?
Chef: Okay I got idea.



Owner: Eh bro. Our cafe not cool enough.
Chef: Okay I got idea.